Friday, October 05, 2007

4 Things you should know that dating is not

It's not time to make a change, just relax, and take it easy. You're still young, that's your fault, there's so much you have to know. Find a girl; settle down, if you want you can marry. Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.(Father & Son Lyrics by Cat Stevens)

The admonition of the lyrics made it sounds too easy huh. That is not easy dad, however you want to view it. Finding the right person is never been easy. IMO, there is still no guaranteed formula that you will end up with a perfect “soul mate.” A relationship takes a lot of efforts to work-out. And finding the right person to hook-up with for good is a lot harder, although you can try. Begin with finding a date, and then go dating.

But wait guys, before you go on a date, let me share with you some of my random and nonsensical thoughts on dating. Hear me out first okay, anyway you can react and comment later. There are at least 4 things you should know that dating is NOT:

Dating is NOT a game that children play. Familiar phrase huh. Yeah –it is not. Dating is a serious matter. It is an opportunity to market yourself –if I may use that phrase –and see whether people will be interested in you. You are not supposed to be after the other person, although that is almost always the case, but primarily it is about you being likable. Take dating as a serious business by taking the time to check your motives and assess yourself whether you are a worthy date.

Dating is NOT a hunter-prey affair looking for someone to snare. It is a venue where you will be able to find, as I have said, whether you are likeable or not, and validate what are your real preferences for a person worth your while. It is supposed to be an opportunity to get to know the other person, rather than luring her or him on your cooked intention –whatever that is.

Dating is NOT a sex-try-out. (Ouch!) It is not something you go to audition whether you are or your date is good in bed. If you are looking for a one night stand, serious dating is not for you. Should there be physical intimacy in dating, it should be spontaneous and reciprocal, or a byproduct of a date that went well.

Dating is NOT a hit-and-miss event. While there are dates that ended sour, dating should not be construed as sipping through a hundred dates and calculating the odds. I used to brag in high school about my "collect and select "scheme, but that does not work in adult life anymore. People, especially women, look for serious partners who give worth to their person. Try finding what women or men want by getting good advises from dating sites for they have a lot to offer.

Now, your turn. Yeah, you can post your comments now.